Major Wiring Problems!

[Ivan141]

Okay, wiring is very tedious, and it's hard to get a feel for what you've tried by reading your story, so I'll just jump in here and see if I can help.

Starter circuit: on euro models, the starter is not triggered trough a relay. It's just a direct connection to the ignition switch. This might be different for US models, but I doubt it. Check the wiring @ the ignition switch, try to measure the starter wire from end to end with a multimeter.
Note: if the wiring came from an automatic, there might be a neutral start switch wired in there, which would stop the voltage getting to the starter, but not the circuit opening relay. If this is the case, get rid of it.

Circuit opening relay: This little puppy should switch on during cranking, and after that, the ecu sends it a signal to keep it switched on (has 2 signal coils).